what! this thing’s called free jazz for a reason and the reason is so i can write about anything and nobody will yell at me.
sprite: 5/10
sprite is one of those sodas that doesn’t really taste like anything but if it’s cold enough it hurts your teeth. i have no opinion on it because it is to my palate a flavour that does not matter.
however: mcdonald’s sprite? it does hit different and that difference is good because it actually tastes like something, even if that something kind of tastes like someone threw a penny in the resevoir for a few days.
coke of cola: 7/10
look they engineered this shit to be tasty and now half of the world drinks it more than water which is fucked up because i saw somebody dissolve a tooth with it one time. i grew up forbidden to drink coke because my mom’s very granola. i was honestly kind of let down when i tasted it for the first time because i very truly thought i was going to have a dr pepper experience. it was good though and you know what sometimes if it’s hot out having a very cold coke is even better than a very cold tecate. and tecate’s hard to beat.
dr. pepper: 8/10
yes i am one of those freaks who likes dr pepper!! what can i say i’m a sucker for that black cherry flavour. none of that diet shit though i can taste the aspartame and it grosses me out. i haven’t tried hot dr pepper and frankly i’m scared to, though i think it would be… fine? ive drank a warm dr pepper before and it wasn’t bad, less immediately sugar-watery than a warm sprite or the like. but hot i’m not sure about. will get back to you on the topic.pepsi: 7/10
they taste the same guys im sorry7-up: 8/10
i don’t know who decided sprite was the default lemon lime soda when it doesn’t even taste like lemons or limes. should have been 7-up. this shit is delicious, and somehow tastes less sweet than other sodas despite probably having just as much sugar in it. i love that. this or ginger ale is what i get on plane rides because the fizz plus the citrus wakes me right the fuck up, which i guess isn’t always what you want on a plane ride but sometimes it’s necessary. it’s a good soda pop.mountain dew (regular): 4/10
this was another one i wasn’t allowed to drink as a kid, probably due to the high caffeine content. i was not delighted when i drank it as an adult because this swill is so ungodly sweet i could feel the enamel of my teeth melting away. its citrus flavour is reminiscent of lemonlime gatorade, which is not a good thing. i cannot enjoy this soda pop.cott’s black cherry cola: 9/10
apparently it’s a thing in montreal to go to schwartz’s and get a smoked meat sandwich with one of these black cherry colas. i did it because even though i am pretentious i am not immune to propaganda about soda pops. this shit rips. it’s the strongest black cherry flavour i’ve tasted in a soda, nicely fizzy, only comes in a can (wow!), and not overly sweet. when cold it’s deeply refreshing. when not so cold it’s a little syrupy but not bad overall. highly recommended if you find yourself in quebec.fanta (orange): 6/10
the thing about a good orange soda is it’s hard to make. i like ones that actually taste like the fruit orange, not the colour orange. fanta is a soda that tastes like the colour orange. i used to like it when i was a kid and then i got older and the chemical citric acid swill no longer held the same mystique that it once did. i’ll drink it if you put ice in it and let the ice melt for like twenty minutes so it’s not so goddamn sweet.sumol (all flavours): 10/10
this is the best soda on the planet so far i think? it’s portuguese i believe (or brazilian, can’t tell) and comes in flavours like pinapple, orange, passionfruit. i was skeptical about a good passionfruit soda because ive drank far too many godawful passionfruit flavoured drinks in my life, but this one works. not sickly sweet, not too powerful with the flavour, nice fizz. it tastes like it’s got actual juice in it, though i don’t know if that’s true.POMS: 9/10
this is an apple soda from tunisia that my local grocery store stocks because i live in an area with a lot of people from the middle east. i love it. apple soda is an untapped market in the US and canada- i was introduced to it thru a mexican apple soda that opened my eyes to the glory that could be. it’s so tasty. loses one point cause it’s a little less tasty when it’s warm and sometimes has a little bit of a tinny aftertaste that i’m willing to overlook because it’s otherwise a perfect beverage.Ting: 10/10
another perfect one. ting is a grapefruit soda that i believe is manufactured in jamaica. i grew up in the caribbean so it wasn’t hard to get. bc of this one of my favourite childhood treats was to be treated to a bottle of ting (only bottles- i’ve never seen it canned) as a reward for being patient while my parents did some adult task or whatever. cold or warm it’s delicious, with exactly the right amount of sour grapefruit that almost mimics the appetite-inducing effects of a good bitters. i want to make cocktails with this stuff now that i’m older but i don’t know what i could add to it that would make it any more delicious than it already is. if you can get a bottle i thoroughly recommend it.Fresca: 2/10
fresca i want to love you because you are grapefruit but why did they have to make you a diet soda and put all that aspartame in youbarq’s root beer: 6/10
root beer is delicious when cold/in float form. it is not as delicious when not cold because it turns into a syrup that feels evil to consume. this has coloured all of my root beers in the past solely because one time i was at a beach and i took one out of the cooler before realizing the cooler had been left in the car for the week prior and was not the cooler my family was using to hold drinks. i drank it anyway and suffered. don’t do this.
orangina: 7/10
the novelty of what is essentially sweetened orange juice mixed with seltzer and bottled will never get old to me. however the marketing team for orangina is so horny that it honestly dissuaded me from drinking it for a while. for some reason, this soda is also very european to me and i don’t know why. maybe bc i drank a lot of it when i was in france. oh speaking of whichseagrams agrumes soda: 9/10
i drank a fuckton of this when i was in france, mostly because i’d never seen it before and i love to challenge my taste buds. oh it is good. it’s a melange of citrus that isn’t too sweet, has v strong grapefruit notes. i haven’t had it since then and i wish i could sip this stuff all the time but it will only live on in my memories. a sadness.ok that’s it for now i’ll be back with more soda reviews love you xoxo